The Donald

Unless you’ve been living in a Lower Slobbovian cave for the past couple of weeks, you’re well aware by now that Donald Trump, has entered the Republican race for the party’s 2016 nomination for President of the United States. And I say, “Whoopie! This is GREAT!!!

Why, you may wonder, would I be so delighted over this arrogant, bigoted, knuckle-dragging Neanderthal’s Presidential quest? The answer is straightforward and simple: because finally a candidate has stepped forward who is unafraid to bare (dare I say flaunt?) the repellent underbelly of the Republican Party, and having it exposed for what it is is truly a marvelous thing.

Lest you disagree with me about this, simply look at what the other GOP nom-seekers are saying. What, you say? The silence is deafening? But then, of course it is. They mostly all agree with him and are simply afraid to say it. Well, except for Ted Cruz, who’s gutsy and idiotic enough to defend the indefensible. And then there’s Jeb Bush, who might just also secretly agree with the bad-haired one but who out of fear made a wimpish, pandering pronouncement in Spanish only that, well, Trump’s ideas aren’t his own. What? Maybe he just borrowed them from someone else? And what about other Republicans? Where are they in all of this? Hiding, it seems, nakedly unmasked for the detestable specimens of humanity they are..

The ugly truth is that the Republican Party has become a slimy right wing backwater wherein dwell bigots, the religiously misguided, the terminally selfish, and a wealthy class of economic narcissists who’ve turned the U.S Congress into their private sandbox. And who out there in the wider public votes for them in election after election? I’ll tell you. Double-wide dwellers who wrongly think their candidates actually care about them, and those who know no better than to follow the lead of Fox demagogues and ignorant imbeciles like James Inhof and his fellow buffoons.

Climate change? A hoax!

Obamacare? Socialism!

Women’s rights? Keep ’em barefoot and pregnant!

Immigration: Rapists!

Infrastructure maintenance: No new taxes!

The Middle East? Bomb it!

The environment? Frack, baby, frack!

The sanctity of life? Long live capital punishment!

Gay marriage? An abomination that will destroy our country!

And there you have it: most of what the GOP stands for today. So, Donald, keep up the good work. It seems that the heavy weight of responsibility has settled upon your shoulders. Yes, only YOU can ensure defeat of the party in 2016, so keep up the good work, because only you are getting the true Republican word out. A lot of us are depending on you. Don’t let us down.


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